Friday, 5 December 2014

You

Sing me your favourite songs. Whisper the words into my ear, but say only what you mean. When you catch me looking at myself in the mirror, pinching at the layers around my legs, just know that I try so hard to listen to the words you say. All those times you’ve called me beautiful. And, on those days when the raindrops on the glass match the tears on my cheeks, use your left forefinger to wipe them away and tell me things will be okay. Maybe if you say it enough times I’ll start to believe it.

And, do me a favour and save the I love you for a night when you feel like, if you don’t say it, your heart will catch on fire. Because when I fall, I fall hard and I fall fast. If you’re not ready to catch me, I will collapse and I will break. If ever seem distant, know that I’m trying to pull away because I’m a wave of regret and you are the strongest pull of the tide there’s ever been. Pull me into you.

I wish more than anything that I could be good enough for you. I tie chains around my body in a hope that I don’t cling too tight. In a hope that you won’t get tired of me. Even though I know you will. Everyone does eventually.

On those nights when I keep my lips pressed together and my eyes are hollow, drag me out of bed and show me what it feels like to live. We could run to the beach and feel the waves lick our toes, lie back on the sand and watch the stars twinkle like my eyes on the day when I realised that you made me feel a way I couldn’t control.


So, I did fall hard. And I did fall fast. And my eyes did twinkle like stars whenever I was around you. You taught me what it was like to feel full. You took my mind places it had never been before and I let you. Because, in the end I wanted it to be you.