Plates rattled as they were stacked
in the corner, piling up like the unbearable hours of my shifts, more and more every
week. I tied the apron around my waist with a sigh, pulling my hair back into
the same ponytail I’d had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before
that. I stacked the plates and ignored the yelling, trying to block out the
countless orders – the same cups of coffee with no milk, the same toasts with
little butter and extra ham. Sneaking to the back of the restaurant, I pretended
to be grabbing something I needed, reaching for the small jar buried at the
bottom of my bag. I dropped in the morning’s modest collection of coins. The
tinkle as they collided with the glass was music to my ears, the best sound I’d
heard all day. I crossed my fingers for generosity, for a small pile of coins waiting
on the receipt as I cleared the table. We’re
getting there, I thought to myself, eyeing the bronze coins that had barely
filled up a quarter of the jar. I watched them glimmer, knowing that it would
happen someday. Dreams could come true.
“Nicole,
get out here, you’ve got customers!” Deep breath, fake smile, knuckles holding
onto the plastic pen and notebook so hard they turned a crimson colour – like the
salami sandwiches, a popular favourite.
Golden
coins caught my eye as I made my way to the table, longing for each one to be
mine, for each one to double, to triple, to fill up ten of my humble glass
jars. Table 35. Teenagers. No tendency to tip. Great. Glancing at his shirt, I noticed the flag drawn onto the
back. Australia. The one place I’d always dreamed of going. I tried to avoid
coughing, struggling for air, strangled by the sickly smell of cheap coffee mixed
with the cigarette smoke drifting in from outside. I kept my coughing in, kept
it all locked up inside, just like the emotions, the misery, the depression,
the agony of spending each and every single day trapped in the same cafe,
waiting on the same tables, in the same small town with the same provincial
people. I longed to escape, to just pack up some things and leave for a while –
clear my head. I longed to try something new, meet a new person, taste some new
food. I longed to dance with the African tribes and to swim with sharks in
Greece. I longed to explore the rainforests in South America and to gaze endlessly
at mountains in Alaska. I longed to get in the car and just drive, throw the
map away and follow the signs, choosing the best, most tempting town name and
heading that way. I wished for a change, to wake up not knowing what will
happen, not knowing where I’ll end up. I longed for a miracle to come along and
fill up my glass jar until it overflowed with passion, with excitement, with adventure.
But, instead, I drew in a deep breath and plastered the same superficial smile
on my face, a painful pang striking at my aching heart.
“What
can I get you?”
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